I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
