I wish I only lived at night.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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