Me. At least after what I've been through.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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