I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
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