so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
