kristin has been a bad kristin
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
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