he shaved USA in his pubs
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
