i don't like sucking hair
I want to make a zoo with you.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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