Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
