He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
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