Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?