She said her name was "party"
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs