Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping