So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
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Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
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His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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