This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
