Texts From Last Night

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  (616): View more from Michigan

  when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.

  (248): View more from Michigan

  who is this?

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  (616): when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me. (248): who is this? http://tfl.nu/n5nl
  Replies (4) Good night (1035) Bad night (961)
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  I'm jealous of your bromance

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  (313): I'm jealous of your bromance http://tfl.nu/rtiu
  Replies (2) Good night (1179) Bad night (599)
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  (409): View more from Texas

  so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister

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  (409): so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister http://tfl.nu/4kg0
  Replies (56) Good night (9084) Bad night (2449)
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  (951): View more from California

  so let's talk penis.

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  (951): so let's talk penis. http://tfl.nu/oygv
  Replies (16) Good night (4508) Bad night (682)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.

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  (814): i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit. http://tfl.nu/riqs
  Replies (72) Good night (4573) Bad night (951)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it

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  (401): My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it http://tfl.nu/ym1h
  Replies (22) Good night (818) Bad night (4347)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry

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  (804): i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry http://tfl.nu/11d0
  Replies (19) Good night (5815) Bad night (639)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.

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  (508): He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk. http://tfl.nu/n1jt
  Replies (2) Good night (3700) Bad night (1089)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?

  (1-860): View more from Connecticut

  I don't understand but I'll be there in 5

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  (860): Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt? (1-860): I don't understand but I'll be there in 5 http://tfl.nu/rms0
  Replies (7) Good night (3318) Bad night (679)
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2

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  (336): He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2 http://tfl.nu/rjqf
  Replies (5) Good night (2083) Bad night (514)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...

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  (403): So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine... http://tfl.nu/hixx
  Replies (12) Good night (3894) Bad night (785)
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  (501): View more from Arkansas

  The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.

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  (501): The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game. http://tfl.nu/4bmh
  Replies (2) Good night (1025) Bad night (682)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.

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  (860): Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America. http://tfl.nu/qj0b
  Replies (6) Good night (880) Bad night (293)
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  (252): View more from North Carolina

  We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.

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  (252): We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day. http://tfl.nu/bkmj
  Replies (2) Good night (830) Bad night (284)
• Favorite

  (517): View more from Michigan

  Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.

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  (517): Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line. http://tfl.nu/nb9z
  Replies (1) Good night (409) Bad night (364)

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