Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize
