There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
