hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
