Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
