Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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