There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
