I'm pants shitting drunk right now
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
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