i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Randomize
