those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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