xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
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