is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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