I'm going to jail i love you
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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