Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
