All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
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