just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
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