Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
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