That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Randomize
