Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize