"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
well I can't set my house on fire every night
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
