i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
