We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
