Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Randomize
