wakey wakey hands off snakey
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
