I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize