I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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