found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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