Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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