I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
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