So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
