Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
