My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Randomize
