im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
