hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
