I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Two words: blizzard sex
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
