I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Randomize
