my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
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