Christians are straight up FREAKS
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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