I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Randomize
