So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Randomize
