is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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