What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
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