escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
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you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
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I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
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