Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
